18 Jan The Premiere is the End

There are countless times when I release a piece of work and I cannot help but wonder whether I am the only one who appreciates or cares to watch it. I joke a lot with my friends that I am probably the only person in a dark room by myself laughing at the jokes on screen or editing miniscule details that only I can see. What if no one ever watches what I make, or what if only 50 people do? In the end, I say, “So what?” For me, filming is a privilege.

The audience has no idea the amazing process that a filmmaker goes through to reach the final product — the emotional rollercoaster, the physical strain of carting around equipment from set to set, and the frustration and thrill of telling the story in your head. They can fathom it, but unless they are there from the moments the ideas are planted and follow you every second to the end, they will not. That is the part I live for.

Yes, finishing a project is fantastic and you are happy when it is over and you have finally reached your goal. However, when people ask me “Are you excited about the release party?” part of me wonders why I do not feel the same excitement they do. I have pondered this and I now realize why I do not. The premiere is all the audience will get to experience. For me as a filmmaker, the premiere is the saddest part of the process because the journey of making that film has ended.

That excitement only returns when I find the next project to begin. Please watch the Hollywood Reporter Exclusive “The Directors“. It is inspiring.